Firing On All Cyclinders

Wednesday nights have become terribly exciting for me. While most would concede that my excitement threshold is decidedly lower than other people’s, Wednesday nights are liable to push me into uncharted emotional waters. That’s the night I get to watch The Apprentice.

Whenever I write a post about a television programme, I tend to find myself including a little ‘I don’t watch much television’ disclaimer. But on reflection, this is only because most programmes are something other than The Apprentice.

Remember the apocryphal tale of Clive James referring to Arnold Schwarzenegger as ‘a condom stuffed with walnuts’? I think this charming description could equally apply to the disgruntled, crinkly visage of Sir Alan Sugar. Having said this, even the most staunchly heterosexual male would have to concede that ‘there’s something about him’. Maybe that’s why he ranks #5 among the World’s Sexiest Jews.

The real attraction of The Apprentice is watching the lengths people will go to work for Sir Alan. And having dosed themselves up on every management book going, no contestant thinks it possible that they might not be the successful candidate. This makes for a certain amount of fun and games.

We live in an age where everyone envies the entrepreneur. There are all sorts of programmes telling us that everyone can and should make enormous amounts of money. Chinless twentysomethings go into property development and make a packet, and You Can Too! Look at all these fresh-faced youths running their own businesses and doing really, really well. Listen to them, learn from them. If you ask me, all this aspiration makes the Average Joe (me) feel a bit disheartened.

Which is why The Apprentice is such a tonic. Here we have a handful of the best business minds out there; the crème de la crème trying to raise a couple of quid to impress Sir Alan. Despite denying it at every turn, they demonstrate that it actually is rocket science. And I for one certainly don’t envy them.

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