Hallows Be Its Name

Greetings, brethren.

For a nigh-unimaginable number of people, it’s a very special day today. This day, the 20th of July 2007 AD has been dubbed ‘the last golden day of ignorance’. Everyone get ready. We are about to turn a page.

The page in question, of course, is the front cover of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, the seventh instalment in J. K. Rowling’s record-breaking series. I assume it’s a record-breaking series, although I am at a loss to cite the latest Guiness tome chapter and verse. Let’s take it as a given.


You’ll have noticed that a degree of fuss has been made over these books. None of it by me, I might add. I’ve not read any of them myself. Which, some might argue, makes me a trifle underqualified to hold forth about them. I did see films one and two, though, which is something. The first one I loathed. But I thought I’d give the second one a go. The second one I loathed.

I found it difficult to get excited about the world’s favourite boy wizard. I am all but alone, it seems. In Britain, one in every forty households has pre-ordered a copy of Hallows. In Morningside, home of J. K. Rowling and veritable hotbed of Pottermania, it is one in every nineteen. Remember, of course, that these figures represent only those would-be readers who have chosen to receive their book in the post. It tells us nothing of the scores who will this evening be crowding into Waterstones to get their greedy little hands on a copy, nor of those more sensible folk who intend to pick up a copy over the next couple of weeks, just whenever they get the chance.

Everyone’s waxing lyrical about Harry Potter at the moment. Our new PM thinks that J. K. Rowling has ‘done more for literacy around the world than any single human being’. Even those responsible for medical audit at the John Radcliffe have entered into the spirit of things. They’ve published the finding that, on average, accidents involving children are far fewer on Harry Potter release dates than on other weekend dates. So they’re all for it, obviously.

I’ve been having a little sniff around all the conspiratorial Potter waffle on the internet. I’ve been particularly enjoying all the leak-anxiety that seems to be floating about. You see, when you’ve got all these books lying about waiting to be delivered, it’s all too tempting for people to take a quick peak. There are all sorts of stories about plot secrets from previous books being leaked prior to the release dates. But the message from the true fans is clear: ‘seriously, we’re almost there guys’. At least Potter fans have got each other to keep them on the straight and narrow.

Anyway, enough of this tosh. Suffice it to say I won’t be attending any Potter launch parties tonight. Largely because I’ll be enjoying the Transformers premiere down at the Ocean Terminal (which, coincidently, starts at the exact moment Hallows is officially released). Stick that in your cauldron and boil it.

Don’t worry. There’ll be a spoiler-laden review to follow shortly.

Explore posts in the same categories: Books, Culture, Films, Goings on, Internet, Magic, News

6 Comments on “Hallows Be Its Name”

  1. Carolyn Costley Says:

    I’m so excited!!!! I’ll be queuing up with the kids at Asda at 11:30 tonight. Read the books then you will understand what all the fuss is about…

  2. Wee Gorbals Says:

    Reading between the lines I sense that Potter gets your goat, Doug. I surmise it to be because he occupies the throne you covet above all others in the kingdom of magic: the world’s favourite boy wizard. I’ve also heard you comment wistfully on the attractiveness and perspicacity of Hermoine which that dunce Potter continues to overlook. No guarantees, but as your friend I suggest you invoke the following charm at midnight on the release date whilst feeding a picture of JK Rowling through a shredder: Hutchinuspotterusobliteratus.

  3. Jamie Says:

    My copy will hopefully be getting smashed through the letterbox tomorrow morning. Harry Potter ain’t bad. It’s better than The Stand but not better than Lord of the Rings 🙂

    (runs and hides)

  4. Neebs Says:

    I move for a motion that Wee Gorbals starts a blog – it seems there is another individual out there with a similar grasp of the English language as our esteemed Mr Hutchison and one as entertaining – kudos.

    Doug, I too have never read any of the books (I intend to remedy that), I too LOATHED the first film, and tolerated the second. The third however, was fantastic, so too the fourth and yes, the fifth kicked the proverbial backside.

    Regrettably, holy wedlock to Carolyn Costley binds me contractually to also queue outside Asda within the next couple of hours. Nevermind, we are out of red peppers (two birds and all that)…

  5. Doug Says:

    There was once talk about Wee Gorbals doing a guest post. Y’know, just to ease him into it. Whatever became of that idea, I wonder?

    I hope you enjoyed the Potter launch party, Costleys. Ocean terminal was quite busy with a similar thing last night. You couldn’t move for not-very-convincing boy wizards and haggard parents.

    Jamie – I hope you enjoy it. Personally, I don’t expect I’ll be embarking on any Potter reading in the next little while. It would be Dark Tower all over again, and we all know how that ended up…

  6. Wee Gorbals Says:

    Very decent of you to encourage me to swell the ranks of you bloggers, Neebs. However I really better finish a few of the other things I’ve started before initiating the Wee Gorbals Blog.

    You’re right Doug, I did once make the rash offer of doing a guest post ..however it was a moment of madness. If you don’t mind, I’ll just continue to shout from the sidelines.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: